Greater Than Christmas Trees

As I was standing in the kitchen at our friends home last night soaking up authentic conversations at their lovely annual Christmas party something struck me. Perhaps it's not a sight that strikes too many people especially those who have grown up in a home full of committed I do's and an endless fight for the sacrament of marriage and the muddy mission it can sometimes mean. What captivated me was certainly not the decor of lights in the front yard, although they were quite impressive and it was not the array of "I'm going to regret this in the morning" kind of food spilling over the counter tops and tables. It was something more meaningful something that lasts far longer then that little black designer dress we HAD to HAVE for this one night, longer then the thoughtful "thank you for hosting" monogrammed hand towel gift set. What was it? What could be more spectacular then the sight of Christmas trees in every room, toys enough to treat and share with a dozen orphanages and still have more? Even the beautiful innocent little giggles from a 5 month old baby girl were not the culprit. 

What could possibly have been so amazing that it immediately reminded me of our Heavenly Father's love for us if it weren't for all of these things? Where could I have possibly found it? As I was conversing quite intensely with a couple, their teenage daughter came over and cautiously joined our warm hearted discussion about men and women and our infinite number of differences. This girl, sheepishly teased her father and reminded him that sometimes being quiet is the safest bet in order to win any discussion. As she poked fun at her father he put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. I was so moved and quite honored to see such a healthy, respectful and loving relationship between a father and his daughter. 

 It was in that moment as a parent myself that I was reminded that our children will always need us. Perhaps, but with certainty, there will be times in the future that they may need us financially. That probably goes without saying. But even more then needing us they will always WANT us. They will want us to call when they are off to college or some foreign land and ask how they are. They will want us when they have landed that first big job or lost that first big love. They will want us to be close enough always and to be that soft place to land when rough seas blow their terrifying waves. They will want us when times get hard with their spouses and they will need us when they become parents themselves. You see it doesn't matter how old our children get. We never STOP being parents. The moment we decided to take on something bigger then ourselves by selflessly living while laying down our lives for another we said our I do, our fiat, our YES. 

I was moved by what I saw between these two people because I saw myself in that teenage girl. An ache in the pit of my stomach, no even greater then my stomach, my soul had manifested. I so desperately wanted to go back to those days where my dad's shoulder was the safest place for my head to rest. I quickly realized as if it were that quintessential "Oprah Aha moment" or as I like to call it "Grace" I realized my Grace, my Sam, my Jack, my Tommy those are the ones this moment is for. This opportunity was for me to be reminded that I must be that continuous constant rock and force in their lives. 

Our vocation as parents is unlike any other. We always have the freedom to quit, give up, tell ourselves it's time for OUR happiness, tell ourselves we've done our job, I deserve this. Lovingly God has given us free will but truthfully happiness does not come from the exotic trips, the new highlights, the new girlfriend, the new husband, the new car.....The empty list is endless. Happiness comes from service and a selfless devotion to others. I realized in that grace filled moment that what my children need more from me right now is my unconditional committed love for and to them. And God gave me the greatest gift last night by not seeing myself in that teenage girl but by seeing MY children in her. 

I want to be and WILL be that soft and sometimes hard shoulder to land when the winds get too rough but mostly in the moments when I don't think they need me at all. Because the truth is no matter who we are we will always not necessarily need our parents but we will without a doubt want them near and hold them forever dear to our hearts. For greater than Christmas trees or any present we could possibly place beneath it is our undying love, time and sacrifice for our children no matter our age but rather more importantly no matter their age.

Thanks be to God ~